The holidays are supposed to be restful. For a lot of us they are the busiest, loudest, most crowded weeks of the year. There are gatherings to plan, gifts to find, travel to arrange, and people to see, some of whom we love easily and some we love with a little more effort. Even when the season is full of good things, it can leave you running on empty by the new year.
If that sounds familiar, nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was built to do: keeping up. The trouble is that it rarely gets the signal that it can stop.
Why the season wears on us
December asks a lot of the body. Shorter days and less light. Later nights and richer food. Schedules that change every day. Old family roles that snap back into place the moment we walk through a door. Grief that sits a little closer to the surface when there is an empty chair at the table.
When the pace stays high, the body stays braced. You might notice it as a tight jaw, shallow breathing, trouble falling asleep, a short fuse with the people you love, or a flat, tired feeling that no amount of coffee touches. These are not character flaws. They are signs that your system has been on for a long time and is asking for a pause.
Slowing down is not one more task
It is easy to turn rest into another item on the list, and then feel behind on that too. Slowing down does not have to mean a retreat or a free afternoon. It can be small and ordinary: one unhurried cup of tea, a walk to the mailbox without your phone, two minutes in the car before you go inside.
What matters is not how long you stop. It is that your body gets a clear, repeated message: right now, in this moment, I am safe enough to set something down.
A two minute way to get still
You can do this sitting in a parked car, at the kitchen table, or in a quiet corner during a busy gathering.
- Let your feet rest flat on the floor and notice the ground holding you up.
- Let your eyes move slowly around the room, or out a window, and land on something pleasant or neutral. Let them rest there.
- Breathe in through your nose, then let the breath out slowly, a little longer than it came in. Do this three or four times. A longer exhale is one of the simplest ways to tell your body it can stand down.
- Notice one thing you can hear, and one thing you can feel, like the warmth of a mug or the weight of your hands.
- Before you get up, ask yourself quietly: what do I need in the next hour?
That is all. Two minutes will not undo a hard season, but stillness adds up, and your body learns from repetition.
Making room for the parts of you that are working hard
Many of us have a part that wants the holidays to be just right: the perfect meal, the right gifts, everyone getting along. There may be another part that dreads the season, or that quietly misses someone. Both are trying to take care of you in their own way.
You do not have to silence either one. Sometimes it helps simply to notice them with some curiosity, the way you might notice a friend who is trying hard. "I see how much you want this to go well." That small moment of kindness toward yourself can soften a lot of pressure.
A few gentle permissions
- You can say no to one thing, or leave a gathering a little early.
- You can keep a familiar routine, like your morning walk or a regular bedtime, even when everything else changes.
- You can step outside for fresh air in the middle of a busy day. In Central Oregon, even a few minutes under the trees or the open sky can help your body settle.
- You can let some traditions go, or change them, or start a quieter one of your own.
- You can grieve and celebrate in the same season. Both can be true.
When it helps to reach out
Holiday stress usually eases once the season passes. It is worth talking with someone when it does not: when sleep or appetite stay off for weeks, when you feel numb or hopeless, when old memories or family patterns are hitting harder than you expected, when you are relying more on alcohol or other ways of numbing out, or when getting through the day takes everything you have.
You do not need to be in crisis to reach out, and you do not need to have the words. At Aspen Counseling we start with a free phone consultation, and we see clients in person in Sisters and by secure video anywhere in Oregon, which can be easier to fit around a busy season. You can call or text (541) 872-3772, or send us a message.
This season, may you find a few quiet minutes that are yours, and a breath that goes all the way down.
This post is for general information and is not a substitute for professional care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) at any hour. If there is immediate danger, call 911.
Header photo: Metolius River area in snow, Deschutes National Forest, by Bonnie Moreland. Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.
- Holidays
- Stress
- Grounding
- Self care
- Nervous system regulation
